Play #9, 1/9/21 © 2021, Lucinda McDermott

4 things: guitar, bird seed, procrastination, thrift store

Event:  Flat tire at night

Location: Car on a lonesome mountain road.

Characters:    STEWART.    BRIANNA.

At rise: LIGHTS up on a couple in a car, at night, pulled over on a lonely road.

STEWART:    Thank God there was an easy place to pull off.

BRIANNA:     I have never had a flat tire in my life! I can’t believe this!

STEWART:    What are we gonna do, Brianna?

BRIANNA:     Change it! I’ve got all the things, and a spare. You’ll find them in the back under your guitar.

STEWART:    Whaddaya mean.

BRIANNA:     You do know how to change a tire.

STEWART:    I’m a guitar player.

BRIANNA:     WHAT? STEWART! You’re a DUDE!

STEWART:    And you’re sexist!

BRIANNA:     Shit! You must be the only guy in the universe whose father didn’t teach him how to change a tire.

STEWART:    You are just full of assumptions, aren’t you? My father died when I was twelve! I guess he didn’t have time to fit that lesson into his end of life plan!

BRIANNA:     You had no uncles? Neighbors? Where’s your pride?

STEWART:    Where’s your empathy? Jesus! Why don’t you know how to change a tire?! I thought you were this Super Feminist!

BRIANNA:     Oh, I know how, but I’m not sticking my ass out there, squatting by the side of the road, in the dark, on a lonely mountain road. Look; I gave you a ride to your gig. You can change the tire.

STEWART:    [Some breaths. Shifting.] Got any food?

BRIANNA:     There’s some bird seed in the back. Under your guitar.

STEWART:    [Looks at her, helpless. Finally;] I guess I could pull up directions on my phone.

BRIANNA:     There you go using that brain you got from the thrift store.

STEWART:    Stuff is. . .

BRIANNA:     Yeah. In the back. Under your guitar.

[STEWART gets out, looking at his phone and heads to the back of the car. BRIANNA pulls out a candy bar from inside her coat and starts to eat it. LIGHTS fade to black.]

END OF PLAY