4 things: blackeyed peas, O’Keeffe, yoga, egg
Event: Going into labor
Location: Security gate
Characters: Woman, man
At rise: WOMAN, very pregnant getting out of car while MAN is shaking a locked gate.
MAN: I know! I know!
WOMAN: This is not happening!
MAN: Breathe, Moira!
WOMAN: I can’t fucking breathe! I have a baby ramming their head against my vagina HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BREATHE!
MAN: There’s gotta be a – Aaaaahhhrg!!!
[WOMAN goes into downward dog]
MAN: Let me call the manager. Where’s my. . . what are you doing?
MAN: Cell…. Cell… where are you? [dials] Hello? Yes? Yes! Yes! This is George O’Keeffe! Yes! From 103! My wife is in labor and the gate is stuck!
[WOMAN starts moaning loudly]
What? I can’t. . . ? Do what? . . . Okay!
[WOMAN starts singing in a lunatic fashion]
What is that?
WOMAN: Black Eyed Peas. . . OH MY GOD! WE have to gooooo!
MAN: Okay, look, I need your help—he said you have to pull this gate and push that gate while someone else pushes the remote. Here! You do this. . .
WOMAN: How wide?
MAN: He said about as wide as an egg.
WOMAN: This better work or you’re delivering a baby in the back of the car!